ADHD can be challenging, but having other health concerns can make dealing with it more difficult. This has been the case for me over the last few years.

How exactly does ADHD impact my ability to deal with other health concerns? Hyperfocus. Hyperfocus can be a good and bad thing. In fact, it can be both things at once. For example, you may be getting that report written for your job, which is excellent, but you may be so into it that you don’t hear your phone ring and miss an important call. My ability to hyperfocus is productive most of the time, but sometimes I shift my focus to my health. At this point, things start to go downhill.

For several years, I have been dealing with various appointments and tests. Instead of waiting until the results come back, I focus on all the possibilities it could be. I don’t focus on things and think everything will kill me or the results will ruin my life. I focus on all the different things it could be, which leads me to focus on why doctors haven’t been able to diagnose me with anything officially. That line of thought makes become upset that other doctors have been dismissive of my symptoms in the past. My thoughts finally land on that they will never find anything wrong with me and that I should give up trying to talk to anyone in the medical profession.

It isn’t a fun place to be stuck in. Sometimes it leads me to believe it is all in my head, which I know isn’t true; my chronic pain and joint issues don’t lie. Getting myself unstuck can take a lot of effort. Thankfully I have three things that help me get through these times - good support from people in my life, knowing my own body, and my tenacity.

My support network isn’t huge, but I have a few close people I can talk to about all my concerns. Some people will discuss my concerns with me in-depth, which is a huge help because it lets me see things from another’s point of view, not to mention it is a relief to have someone listen.

Trusting myself is a massive part of getting through my health hyperfocus. I know my own body and can tell when something feels off. By understanding where there is an issue, I can better explain what is bothering me. It is always essential to trust how you feel.

My tenacity is what helps me not give up. It is why I can put my mind to something and, most of the time, pull it off. Giving up is not an option for me, which sometimes is a detriment, but life lessons are important. My tenacity motivates me to seek answers to receive a resolution as to what is going on with me.

Hyperfocusing on health is something that I need to manage better. I know I have made good steps in shifting my focus when negative thoughts surrounding health come to mind. Plus, I learned that it is okay to tell a doctor that I am unhappy with the outcome and I would like a second opinion. Even with the positive steps, it can still be a struggle, but I will continue to try and improve my strategy so that one day this will no longer be an issue.

One of the biggest challenges for me is trying to organize my time. I put this pressure on myself to get everything done at once. This never really goes well for me. It usually ends up with me feeling frustrated and like a failure. These are the times when I need to remind myself that I do things a bit differently than those without ADHD.

For the last year or so, I have been trying to organize my time better and stick with it. Not an easy thing to do for me. I finally did something I couldn’t manage two years ago - set goals. It sounds straightforward, but for someone like me, setting goals usually involve a path that starts as a straight line and then veers off in twenty different directions before coming to a grinding halt at the edge of a cliff.

To give you an example of my new method of goal setting, I will use the areas I would like to include as part of my career. First, I determined what I could do without becoming overwhelmed. For me, that was pursuing an education in Aromatherapy as my first step. Then I realized I wanted to take yoga teacher training and reflexology. It took a lot of self-talk to remind myself to focus on one thing, complete it, and move to the next. I added yoga teacher training and reflexology to my list of next steps so that I could put all my focus on Aromatherapy.

Currently, I am still working on completing my aromatherapy course. I have given myself an end date that I want to have the course completed. There is a set schedule that I make on what I should be completing each week. This method seems to work for me, and I am ahead of schedule. I have held back from enrolling in anything else because I know the more I take on, the more I will become distracted. Then there is less chance that I will complete my goal of becoming a professional aromatherapist.

Goal setting is going well, but it is not 100% yet, and I wonder if it will ever be. It isn’t easy at times. Internally I have lots of conversations with myself to take things slow. Thankfully I also have support and people reminding me not to overwhelm myself and complete things one at a time.

When I stop and think about what I have completed this last year, I am proud of myself because I will finish something soon. Two years ago, there was no way I could have completed a course. Taking the time to set goals and giving myself constant reminders to slow down has been beneficial.

It seems like one of those days to share one of my longest-running interests - video games. Yes, I am a woman gamer and have been doing it for a long time. It isn’t a new thing. Part of me wants to share because it is super fun and keeps my focus for a long time. Another reason is that I have been doing it for such a long time. I was pretty lucky during that period (early 1980s) that my parents thought it was okay for a girl to be interested in. It also helped that many games were educational, and my dad was into new tech. Plus, with computers and video games constantly evolving, it kept my interest, especially when I didn’t know I had ADHD at the time.

The first system I played anything on was the TRS-80 Color Computer, which came out in 1980. The main thing I remember using on it was The Hound of Baskervilles tapes. Yes, there was a time when you had to use tapes along with a program. It was something to help me learn how to read. Of course, it was the early 80s, and I played Pac-Mac and Donkey Kong when I used to hang out at the bar as a kid with my parents (again, it was the 80s). I also had a Pac-Man Minigame made by Coleco, and I wish I still had it. It was pretty cool.

The next system I used was the Commodore 64. I remember playing Space Taxi, The Goonies, Operation Frog (simulated dissecting a frog; I was a weird kid), and then a learning-to-type game that I can’t recall the name of. I remember spending hours playing some of these games. Space Taxi was a good way for me to learn hand and eye coordination, but I never could quite get it. I don’t think that has changed much for me today.

I remember going to my best friend’s house and playing her Nintendo. At the time, it was the coolest thing ever. We played The Legend of Zelda and Tetris. I know I played Tetris so much at her house that I had dreams about it.

After that, I couldn’t tell you what kind of computers I had over time. All I know is that I remember the days of trying to defrag your machine so that it could free up space. I tried doing this a lot when I bought games that ended up being too big for my machine, and I had to install it at someone else’s house. It was one of the King’s Quest games during the 1990s. Those were the days. I was kind of obsessed then. I needed to see games work. It was so interesting to see the advancement in games over the years. The graphics were getting better, and so were the stories. I remember always looking for the next new game to get.

I remember when I became aware that I was fully into video games. The year was 1995, the system was the Super NES, and the game was Final Fantasy IV. I was living with roommates, and they had a Super NES. One of my roommates said I should try the game out, and I did. I think I took over his gaming system for a while. I didn’t realize that games could have that much involvement or storylines. After that, I started playing JRPGs for a while. Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy VII (the one from 1997) were two of my favourites.

After that, I couldn’t tell you how many different games I played. I jumped from console to PC and back. Marvelling at each new advancement in game creation. One of my favourite games was Planescape Torment. The characters, the choices, and the game’s outcome, depending on your choices, were amazing. The story was so well done. I love games where the player’s choices impact the story.

There are lots of games I have put so many hours into, Skyrim, ARK, the Fallout Franchise, Divinity Original Sin I, and Divinity Original Sin II. Recently, I have gotten into roguelite games like Atomicrops. So much fun! Not to mention, I am a fan of games where you can play a dwarf and mine (don’t ask me, I just like it). So Deep Rock Galactic and Deep Rock Galactic Survivor are great in my books.

Even with all the different genres, I will always return to games with great stories. Recently, it was Baldur’s Gate III. The story and character development are fantastic. The amount of dialogue and conversation choices (always make sure you have high charisma) are great. Not to mention that the dialogue choice can change based on your race and class in the game (it is based on Dungeons and Dragons gameplay). The combat is pretty fun, too. This has to be my favourite game at the moment.

There is such a wide variety of games out there that there are always options for things to play. I know some people think playing video games is a waste of time, or only certain types of people play video games. That is fine with me. I know video games have helped me learn many things: how to type, science, decision-making, hand-and-eye coordination, and how life doesn’t always go how you want it to (Aerith FFVII). Plus, with my attention being all over the place, it is nice to have so many genres to choose from.

If you have ADHD and haven’t found anything to take your mind off things, I recommend trying video games, and who cares what people think. It is your life. Whatever holds your interest, do it because the times when nothing can hold our interest are hell.

It seems like one of those days to share one of my longest-running interests - video games. Yes, I am a woman gamer and have been doing it for a long time. It isn’t a new thing. Part of me wants to share because it is super fun and keeps my focus for a long time. Another reason is that I have been doing it for such a long time. I was pretty lucky during that period (early 1980s) that my parents thought it was okay for a girl to be interested in. It also helped that many games were educational, and my dad was into new tech. Plus, with computers and video games constantly evolving, it kept my interest, especially when I didn’t know I had ADHD at the time.

The first system I played anything on was the TRS-80 Color Computer, which came out in 1980. The main thing I remember using on it was The Hound of Baskervilles tapes. Yes, there was a time when you had to use tapes along with a program. It was something to help me learn how to read. Of course, it was the early 80s, and I played Pac-Mac and Donkey Kong when I used to hang out at the bar as a kid with my parents (again, it was the 80s). I also had a Pac-Man Minigame made by Coleco, and I wish I still had it. It was pretty cool.

The next system I used was the Commodore 64. I remember playing Space Taxi, The Goonies, Operation Frog (simulated dissecting a frog; I was a weird kid), and then a learning-to-type game that I can’t recall the name of. I remember spending hours playing some of these games. Space Taxi was a good way for me to learn hand and eye coordination, but I never could quite get it. I don’t think that has changed much for me today.

I remember going to my best friend’s house and playing her Nintendo. At the time, it was the coolest thing ever. We played The Legend of Zelda and Tetris. I know I played Tetris so much at her house that I had dreams about it.

After that, I couldn’t tell you what kind of computers I had over time. All I know is that I remember the days of trying to defrag your machine so that it could free up space. I tried doing this a lot when I bought games that ended up being too big for my machine, and I had to install it at someone else’s house. It was one of the King’s Quest games during the 1990s. Those were the days. I was kind of obsessed then. I needed to see games work. It was so interesting to see the advancement in games over the years. The graphics were getting better, and so were the stories. I remember always looking for the next new game to get.

I remember when I became aware that I was fully into video games. The year was 1995, the system was the Super NES, and the game was Final Fantasy IV. I was living with roommates, and they had a Super NES. One of my roommates said I should try the game out, and I did. I think I took over his gaming system for a while. I didn’t realize that games could have that much involvement or storylines. After that, I started playing JRPGs for a while. Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy VII (the one from 1997) were two of my favourites.

After that, I couldn’t tell you how many different games I played. I jumped from console to PC and back. Marveling at each new advancement in game creation. One of my favourite games was Planescape

Torment. The characters, the choices, and the game’s outcome, depending on your choices, were amazing. The story was so well done. I love games where the player’s choices impact the story.

There are lots of games I have put so many hours into, Skyrim, ARK, the Fallout Franchise, Divinity Original Sin I, and Divinity Original Sin II. Recently, I have gotten into roguelite games like Atomicrops. So much fun! Not to mention, I am a fan of games where you can play a dwarf and mine (don’t ask me, I just like it). So Deep Rock Galactic and Deep Rock Galactic Survivor are great in my books.

Even with all the different genres, I will always return to games with great stories. Recently, it was Baldur’s Gate III. The story and character development are fantastic. The amount of dialogue and conversation choices (always make sure you have high charisma) are great. Not to mention that the dialogue choice can change based on your race and class in the game (it is based on Dungeons and Dragons gameplay). The combat is pretty fun, too. This has to be my favourite game at the moment.

There is such a wide variety of games out there that there are always options for things to play. I know some people think playing video games is a waste of time, or only certain types of people play video games. That is fine with me. I know video games have helped me learn many things: how to type, science, decision-making, hand-and-eye coordination, and how life doesn’t always go how you want it to (Aerith FFVII). Plus, with my attention being all over the place, it is nice to have so many genres to choose from.

If you have ADHD and haven’t found anything to take your mind off things, I recommend trying video games, and who cares what people think. It is your life. Whatever holds your interest, do it because the times when nothing can hold our interest are hell.

Most of you have probably heard negative things about ADHD medication and prescribed medication in general. Things like - “my medication made me feel like a zombie,” “I didn’t recognize myself on my medication,” or “side effects of my medication were just too much.” Others’ experiences planted the seed in my head that nothing would work for me when it came to medication, and anything I tried would have a negative impact.

On top of the fear I experienced based on what other people have said, I had other worries. My most significant fear was that it would change how I thought or may change my personality entirely. Over the years I subconsciously developed several coping mechanisms to help me get by daily. I felt relatively successful with where I was in life, and I didn’t see how medication could improve or change that. I thought I knew who I was and didn’t want anything that would change my personality. I loved jumping from topic to topic or switching from one project to another relatively quickly. I enjoyed being spontaneous. I had a fundamental fear that this would all change once I started medication. That I would lose myself if I started taking medication.

The physical aspects were also a concern. How would it interact with other medications? Could I keep up my coffee addiction? How would it affect my heart rate? These were all legitimate concerns, well, maybe not the coffee. These were more reasons I was nervous about starting medication (anxiety and ADHD is not a fun mix).

The moment I finally made my decision was when I was frustrated, once again, that I couldn’t complete something. In this case, it was painting a birdhouse. I decided enough was enough and needed something else to help me work through my day-to-day struggles. I talked to my doctor, and they prescribed medication.

Guess what happened the first day on medication - all the background noise stopped in my brain. I could focus. That first day was a game-changer for me. Instead of thinking for hours about how I needed to get a chore done and feeling bad about it, I just got up and did it when it came to my mind. Crafting became more fun because I started finishing projects and discovered that I enjoyed other things, such as drawing and watercolours. Things that I could never make time for before because setting up was too much effort. The most significant change was my ability to start a course and stick with it (I won’t go into how much money I have wasted on unfinished courses or hobbies). I have stuck with the current course I am taking for a year, which is a massive achievement.

ADHD medication changed my life. Yes, I keep an eye on the physical side effects still. Sadly I drink less coffee, but the sacrifice is worth it. Going on medication was my choice, and this is my experience and opinion. I respect and understand why people may choose not to take it. All I can say is that I am still the same person I was before, but with more focus and success.

Have you ever had someone say, “Why can’t you just pick something you want to do”? This used to be a difficult question, but not anymore.

Before my medication, I used to freeze when I had to pick something to do in my personal life, such as what to watch, what to read, what to eat, or what to craft. I would become anxious because I couldn’t decide. The big dilemma was that I didn’t want the choice to be something I didn’t like because then it would be a waste of time, and I could have spent that time doing something else that was better.

You can imagine the amount of time wasted trying to decide. So, while saving myself from wasting time, I wasted time. It was so frustrating not only for me but also for those around me. Sometimes I think people assumed I was being difficult, but that wasn’t the case. Trust me, I was way more upset at myself than they were with me. I not only felt angry at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I also became angry with myself because I didn’t want to impact anyone else with my lack of decision-making. I felt like there was something wrong with me.

Thankfully my diagnosis helped me understand my lack of decision-making. It gave me insight into what was going on inside my head. Luckily my medication has helped immensely with my decision-making. Plus, conversations with those close to me about what is going on in my head have also helped.

For those out there who have trouble making decisions due to their ADHD, I get it. I understand the struggle and the frustration. You definitely aren’t alone when it comes to this.

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After I was diagnosed with ADHD, I experienced two vastly different emotions. Initially, there was a sense of relief that there was something going on in my mind that made me a bit different. There was actually a reason why I had a hard time completing things or why I jumped from hobby to hobby. Then there was the happiness that came with getting medication that actually quieted my mind; it was a complete life changer for me, and after those things came the grief.

I grieved for the years lost. Looking back, I finally had a reason why so many things in my life fell by the wayside. I knew why I never really tried in school or why I could never decide on what to take in university. There was finally a reason I jumped from job to job as a young adult or let friendships fall apart. I spent so much of my life thinking I was a horrible person, lazy, and could never truly succeed in anything I set my mind to complete.

I grieved for what I could have been. All the things that could have been different in my life. All the stability that could have been there if I had been diagnosed earlier in my life. All the things I could have been successful at earlier.

This part of the ADHD diagnosis was heavy. It still is at times if I allow myself to dwell on it. When I get into that mindset, I try to think about what my ADHD has allowed me to do. It has definitely helped create the person that I am today. I have had some wild experiences, some I definitely wouldn’t recommend or wish on anyone. I have been able to find new interests because I am always jumping from subject to subject. I have discovered my creative side. I have met people all over the world. I have pushed through difficult situations because I always believe there is a way to get through them; there is always a solution in my mind. Personally, I think if I didn’t have ADHD, I would have been more complacent in my life, and I wouldn’t have had all the amazing (and sometimes terrifying) experiences.

So yes, there is grief, but what my life is now and what I have learned vastly outweigh the things that didn’t happen due to my ADHD. I still have time, and I am working towards the things that I know I can now succeed at in life.